Struggling to lose weight? Cant seem to stick to a healthy eating regime? You probably know what to do to lose weight but something is stopping you from either moving towards to your goal or sticking with your plan to lose weight. Nowadays there is so much information and education about healthy eating, calories, carbs, exercise etc. It’s not that we don’t what we should do to eat healthily and lose weight. It’s more about the subconscious drive to comfort eat. Feeling not good enough, overwhelmed, fearful, lonely or anxious are just a few of the powerful emotions which drive us to self sooth.  Food can help us feel better almost immediately. We get a huge dopamine hit but it’s short lived an temporary. So we self sooth more and more often to feel better. Sometimes we aren’t aware consciously what we are feeling deep down. 

Real Self Confidence and Esteem is based in emotion, not a self image.
To build self confidence and overcome low self esteem is to change how we feel emotionally about ourselves. To change our emotion requires changing two different core beliefs about self image. The first core belief is obvious. It is the belief that we are not good enough. It may have a more specific association to how we look, how smart we are, money, or lack of confidence sexually. The second core belief to change is the image of success that we feel we should be. Changing this belief is contrary to logic, but is a must if we are to overcome insecurity and raise our self esteem.

You would be amazed at the number of people that have a problem with low self-esteem or a lack of confidence. However, just imagine how it would be to live your life feeling confident in who you are and in your abilities.  Just think of all the things you could achieve if you had that self-esteem and felt as confident as you imagine other people to feel. 

It is useful to consider what may be holding you back from taking opportunities. Is is fear? Fear of failure? Fear of succeeding? Fear of loss perhaps? Is it that your are with the wrong tribe? People you may like but do not inspire you, share your interests, challenge you and admire you. 

Maybe your boring unfulfilling job is safe because you know it inside out and changing jobs may feel scary. Maybe your calling is something more creative but you’ve been held back by others’ believes about a ‘proper job’. Perhaps you’ve settled for a mediocre but safe relationship, feeling like you don’t deserve any better. 

In whatever way you feel stuck, unfulfilled or bored it will be perception. Your perception. But ask yourself why this is.  As suggested it is about fear. Our mind doesn’t like change especially if change involves the unfamiliar. Uncertainty feels scary, uncomfortable and stressful. So staying stuck, although unfulfilling, feels the safer option.

any of us have fears about particular objects or situations, and this is perfectly normal. A fear becomes a phobia if it lasts for more than six months, and has a significant impact on how you live your day-to-day life.

Addiction is defined as not having control over doing, taking or using something to the point where it could be harmful to you. This could be computer games, sex, drugs, alcohol, self harming, smoking,  gambling, food…the list could go on.

Addiction causes a lot of suffering. Not only for the person who is addicted but the people they share their lives with also. This suffering can take many
forms such as chronic illness, debt, criminal conviction, and divorce. Addiction can lead to lives being shattered. It can break up families, and cause many other forms of unnecessary suffering.

Primarily the addictive behavior is a form of self soothing; A habit that provides some relief, albeit temporary, from deep seated emotional pain. Our brain and body produces dopamine which makes us feel excited, motivated or satisfied. 

Stress and anxiety are emotionally distressing and can affect every area of your life. Life can become so distressing and every event can seem like a huge challenge. You may become withdrawn, your performance may suffer at work and socially. After a while many people develop chronic conditions such as headaches, insomnia, IBS, tinnitus,skin conditions and more.  The under lying causes for anxiety lie in your subconscious. Previous significant events and/or limiting beliefs learned during childhood are responsible for the way you feel. Social anxiety, Generalized anxiety, panic disorders all have roots in childhood experiences.   

Anger is a healthy and purposeful emotion; it’s intention is to protect you, keep you safe. However, when anger rises in situations where you are not threatened, or there is no clear risk there will be an underlying cause. Anger will still be protecting you. Look at feelings underneath the anger and you will find a myriad of feelings which your anger is trying to hide, to protect you from realising and/or feeling. Feelings of not feeling worthy, feeling disrespected, not listened to, guilty, ashamed, fearful or that you don’t matter to others. These aren’t the only emotions, feelings and beliefs of course.  

Your subconsciously held limiting beliefs drive your feelings, attitude and behaviour without you consciously being aware of it. You may find you judge yourself telling yourself “this is  ridiculous”, ” there is something wrong with me” or “I don’t understand why I am like this”. You may be risking relationships, jobs, promotions or opportunities because your feelings and anger get the way.